Managing Sleep Deprivation with a Newborn
Takeaway: Managing sleep deprivation with a newborn can seem nearly impossible at times while you're learning to navigate this new challenge of baby sleep. If you're feeling like you'd do anything to make sure your baby will fall asleep and stay asleep so you can get some rest, then read on to learn more about the strategies for new parents to manage sleep deprivation with a new baby - and maybe even get a good night's sleep here and there throughout the postpartum and early parenting stages.
Those early days with a new baby are so full of joy, changes, snuggles, cries, feedings - and all around the clock, too. Although managing sleep deprivation as a new parent can seem impossible at times, there are strategies that you can use to help you get through the exhausting nights that turn into morning where you feel like you could fall asleep on a dime. When you're in that state, it's hard to think about anything but... sleeping.
You're not alone in experiencing sleepless nights and feeling desperate to get sleep, googling "what are wake windows" and "should I sleep train my baby". Being a new parent can be an exciting yet exhausting experience. Disrupted sleep is part of the gig in the early days of baby's life.
As you transition into life with your little one, feeling overwhelmed and sleep-deprived is not uncommon. It might feel like a lifetime ago that you had a good night's sleep.
But why IS it so hard for your baby (and subsequently, you!) to get sleep in the beginning?
Baby Sleep
Baby sleep is different. Babies actually do spend A LOT of their time asleep - newborn babies sleep between 12-16 hours in a 24 hour period - but they don't sleep for long.
The sleep cycles of babies are shorter than adult sleep cycles. Babies spend less time in rapid eye movement sleep (REM sleep). Babies need to wake up frequently to eat. The combination of these factors create sleep patterns that don't match up with the sleep that we as adults need.
Having a sleep pattern that doesn't match up isn't ideal! Especially when you're sharing the same room or even the same bed. The great news? Baby's sleep patterns will change over time. Baby sleep can feel unpredictable and confusing, but learning about baby sleep cycles and what is biologically normal for baby sleep can help shed some light on what's going on with your little one.
If you have concerns about your baby's sleep or any other area related to their health, the best place to seek support and help is through your child's pediatrician.
It's worth saying here that Instagram, Google, and TikTok are NOT your baby's doctor. It's natural to look for support and information in these easily accessible places, but when it comes to you and your baby's health, skip the screens and go straight to a reliable source.
Impact of Sleep Deprivation on Parents with a New Baby
Sleep Deprivation takes a toll.
One of the most significant impacts sleep deprivation can have on new parents is increased stress and anxiety. New parenthood comes with a lot of pressure and emotions, which can lead to distress and impact mental health, so it's important to prioritize sleep when you can. Poor sleep can affect your mood, increasing irritability and a feeling of overwhelm. Sleep can be powerful medicine - helping your body heal after pregnancy and childbirth. Managing sleep deprivation by getting enough sleep helps recharge your mind and body so that you can cope better with the physical and emotional demands of parenting and taking care of your baby.
Okay great. So... how can we protect maternal sleep and combat sleep deprivation?
Focusing on Your Sleep
Sleep Deprivation as a Risk Factor for Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders
Although sleep deprivation during the postpartum period is common, it can seriously affect your overall well-being and have negative consequences for mental health. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation is a risk factor for postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. If you're experiencing symptoms of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, such as having trouble sleeping, mood swings, feeling overly worried, or finding it difficult to take care of yourself, speak with your doctor or a mental health professional about support.
Other risk factors for mental health challenges and perinatal mood and anxiety disorders include:
High levels of stress or depression during pregnancy
Previous history of mental illness
Social isolation
Lack of support from family and friends
Strategies to Get More Sleep in Postpartum and Early Parenting Periods
Sometimes, truly restorative sleep is simply off the table for a period of time. If that’s the case for you due to nighttime feedings, lack of support, anxiety symptoms, multiple children, or other factors, it can be infuriating to hear someone tell you to “just sleep when the baby sleeps!”.
Here's what you can do instead:
Prioritize your own sleep and take it when you can.
Know that this period of fragmented sleep will not last forever. You will sleep again. In the meantime, focus on managing sleep deprivation by resting when you are able, even if “resting” does not equal sleep.
Sooo.... how can you prioritize your own sleep?
I'm so glad you asked. Making an intentional plan for sleep is vital. Sleep deprivation is a precursor to developing a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder, so it can trigger postpartum depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders - it’s really essential to protect your sleep and get sufficient sleep to protect your mental health.
There are a few strategies that can help increase quality rest. Here are some steps you can take.
Take turns with your partner or other family members.
Taking turns with your partner or another adult to get up when the baby wakes at night will help ensure that both of you get adequate rest.
Prioritize mom's sleep.
Prioritize sleep over household tasks, visitors, and anything else non-essential. Sufficient sleep trumps all that during this time. Uninterrupted sleep on the weekends, in the morning before one partner leaves for work, when baby sleeps, or at the beginning of the night (with either pumped breast milk, formula, or bringing baby to mom to breastfeed) adds up.
Aim for large blocks of sleep.
Larger blocks of uninterrupted sleep have a more powerful impact than multiple small blocks of sleep - aim to sleep for longer when possible rather than grabbing cat naps. A four hour stretch of sleep can make a big impact, even if it's just a few times a week. One way to do this is to set up an "anchored sleep schedule" - one where several hours of night sleep will always overlap every night and remain consistent
Create a sleep routine.
Establishing a bedtime routine and a sleep routine for you and your baby will help promote better sleep quality. A good bedtime routine might include a warm bath, reading a book together, and a bottle or breastfeeding session. Designate certain hours as rest time and stick to it! Many parents are tracking baby’s sleep anyway, so look for patterns so that you can make a flexible schedule. Here are some goals to shoot for:
Designate 7 or more hours of sleep per 24-hour period.
Designate 3 to 4 hours of “anchor sleep” that will remain constant
Stick to the schedule.
Practice good sleep hygiene.
Sleep hygiene has a huge impact on quality of sleep. Set up healthy sleep habits such as staying off your phone or reducing exposure to screens in the few hours before bed, keeping your room dark, and keeping your sleep space as stress free as possible to minimize sleep loss. And don't shoot the messenger, but limiting caffeine, too. It's not me who says so, it's the National Sleep Foundation!
Embrace naps.
Take advantage of the times your baby naps to catch up on rest yourself. You can also use this time to relax or do something for yourself. Rest doesn't always equal sleep, sometimes a walk outside or time to be with friends or your partner is even more rejuvenating than a cat nap.
Ask for help.
Don't be afraid to ask friends and family for assistance and outsource support where needed. Sometimes just having someone else around—even if they are not actively helping—can make life easier for new parents. You may also consider hiring a postpartum doula or pediatric sleep consultant for additional support or coaching.
Set realistic expectations.
It may take some time before your baby consistently sleeps “through the night” or for longer stretches of time, so be realistic with your sleeping expectations early on. Know that it’s a journey, but the sleepless nights will not last forever.
Carve out time for yourself.
Another important strategy is carving out time for yourself. Finding the time might not be easy, but taking some moments in your day to relax and unwind can help you feel more rested and refreshed.
Caring for Yourself After a Rough Night
You can do ALLLLL the things to get more sleep and still be fighting to stay awake, walking around thinking only of when you can go back to sleep. If your baby isn't sleeping, you're likely not getting good sleep. Those rough nights won't last forever, but when you're sleep deprived, everything feels harder.
Nourish your body with a balanced diet and movement, get outside in the daylight, and get social interaction. Know you can try again tonight and that sleep DOES get easier over time.
Get the Help You Need
It’s important AND it’s difficult to get enough sleep when you are a new parent. Sleep deprivation is a real problem that affects your daily life and can increase distress and symptoms of perinatal mood and or anxiety disorders.
If you're struggling, there is support.
At Poppy Therapy, I can help provide support in the postpartum and early parenting sleep-deprived periods.
Book a consultation today if you’re looking for support.
