How to Support a New (or New Again) Mom

Takeaway: Having a new baby takes all mama’s attention and energy. These are some practical tips and scripts for supporting a new (or new again) mom in the postpartum and early parenting periods.

Bring Food

It’s a classic for a reason! A home cooked meal that she doesn’t have to make is gold for a new mama. Bonus points if it’s an old favorite to bring her comfort or something extra nutritious to help her heal. Not a cook? A gift card or Venmo for take out works, too. You can even order something on Postmates or another delivery app for her to take the whole ordering process off her plate.

Ask How She’s Feeling and Listen to Her

Just spending time with her and being genuinely interested in supporting her if she wants to talk. You know, good friend stuff. If you aren’t feeling sure what to say, try these simple phrases:

“I’m here for you.”

“Your feelings are valid.”

“How can I support you?”

“I’m here to listen".”

Just listen without judgement or even advice-giving, unless she asks for it. She’s probably getting advice from everywhere - if she wants your take, she’ll ask for it.

Offer to Help Around the House

Sometimes mama wants/needs to just hold baby or rest. But there are still things to be done and a whole family to care for.

“Can I run some laundry for you?”

“I’m going to target/grocery store - what can I pick up for you?”

“I’m going to take my kids to the park for an hour, can your older kid(s) join us?”

Sometimes mamas want a break from baby holding, too. She might love to have you hold baby so she can shower or tidy up or run to the store herself. Ask her what the best way to support her is, and give a few options.

Encourage Her

She’s sore, she’s anxious, she’s discouraged, she’s TIRED. She might not be sure if she’s doing it all “right”. Give her encouragement and let her know you’re thinking about her.

Maybe send her a text or a funny meme.

And remember that she needs your support beyond just those first few weeks when everyone is checking in and dropping off food and holding baby. Check in and support her as baby continues to grow and she faces new challenges. She’s lucky to have you in her corner.