8 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Healthy During Postpartum and Early Parenting

Takeaway: Becoming a parent is an incredible transition that can bring immense joy - and challenges. Postpartum relationship struggles are common as couples learn how to maintain their relationship and adjust to life with a newborn. It's important to ensure your love for each other stays strong by building healthy and intentional connection. This article outlines some low-effort ways to connect with your partner during the postpartum and early parenting stages.

A strong connection with your partner is a firm foundation for your growing family. The impact of a healthy, loving, equitable relationship is immeasurable - for both you and baby. You deserve this kind of connection. Ready to keep your relationship healthy even after having kids? Read on for ways to make sure things stay strong between you and your partner throughout this lifelong adventure!

Your postpartum relationship matters.

Have Regular Date Nights

Okay, I wrote “date night” but I actually cringe when I hear that phrase. To me, “date night” conjures an image of a couple who somehow has the energy and time to dress up and plan a dinner date somewhere, while also having accessible, affordable childcare for regular time away. Not reality for many, many couples during postpartum and early parenting. So I’ll fix it:

Have Regular Date Nights Have Regular Time Together to Strengthen Your Postpartum Relationship

Regular time together is an essential part of staying connected in your postpartum relationship. Aim to do something special together once a week. These set aside times can help you stay connected and reignite that spark - and it doesn't have to be expensive or complicated. It can be as simple as cooking dinner at home together while listening to a favorite album, going for a walk around your neighborhood and talking about your days, or even just taking a moment for quality conversation when kids are in bed.

Having regular, quality, uninterrupted (ahhhem, maybe even phone-free!) time together can help keep you connected with your partner; it provides a space to engage in meaningful conversations without distractions or interruptions from work or home life. Plus, it allows you to try new activities together and get creative with making adjustments around your new addition.

Share Responsibilities 

Don't let one of you become the sole caretaker for your baby. Both partners need to be actively involved in the care of a baby. This is especially during the postnatal period when life is already chaotic and overwhelming. Sharing responsibilities helps ensure both partners are well-rested and supported as they adjust to this new phase of life.

This could include splitting up tasks such as diaper changes, feedings, and nighttime duties like rocking the baby back to sleep. It is also crucial for partners to split household labor. A great resource for beginning to talk about this and divide responsibilities at home is Fair Play.

Communicate Openly and Honestly During Postpartum and Early Parenting

When it comes to adjusting to postpartum and parenting life, communication is key. Open and honest discussions between both partners are essential for the relationship to remain strong and healthy. One of the best methods for doing this is to regularly check in with one another. Take the time to talk about how each person is feeling, both physically and emotionally.

This can help ensure issues or feelings are addressed before they become major problems. Scheduling regular "check-ins" allows for each partner to communicate their thoughts and feelings without judgment or pressure from the other, creating an opportunity for a safe space where anything can be discussed openly and honestly. 

Prioritize Self-care

Prioritizing self-care is essential for both individual and couple wellness. When new parents enter this stage of life, they are often overwhelmed by the sudden change in responsibility and lifestyle. To ensure that each partner can be present and emotionally available to one other, ensure both individuals take care of themselves.

Self-care isn't only about pampering or indulging in luxurious activities and creating a mindful environment where physical, mental, and emotional health can flourish. 

Make Time for Fun

Making time for fun should not be overlooked! Taking the time to enjoy yourself can help relieve stress and provide a much-needed break from your everyday responsibilities.

Whether you plan an afternoon trip to the beach, enjoy an impromptu dance party, or spend a night watching a movie together, it is important to reconnect as a couple after kids. Regardless of budget or free time constraints, there are creative ways to fit some fun into your daily life.

Show Appreciation 

Showing appreciation does not have to be complicated or time-consuming. Even the smallest gestures can make a difference in your relationship with your partner in your new roles as parents. You can start by expressing verbal gratitude for different things, such as praising their efforts to take care of both you and the baby or simply thanking them for being there during this difficult and exhausting period. A simple “I’m glad we are in this together”, or “I love the way you play with her” can feel so meaningful.

Cherish the Small Moments

Cherishing the small moments is important, as these fleeting moments often provide us with the joy and levity we need most during such a major transition. Taking a moment to pause and recognize when one of these happens can help lift our spirits and bring peace between the sometimes-chaotic days of new parenthood.

Whether it's spending an extra few minutes snuggling with your newborn or sharing a joke with your partner, even the simplest of gestures can have a lasting impact on how we feel. 

Book a Consultation

Of course, every postpartum relationship is different and will require its strategies for success. But these tips above provide a great starting point for any couple seeking to keep their connection strong after having kids. If you struggle to implement these tips or want additional support, don't hesitate to contact a qualified therapist.

Poppy Therapy supports new moms in postpartum and early parenthood. If you are interested in one-on-one support during this time, book a consultation and start on the path to a healthier and happier relationship to build your family on.