Returning to Work after Maternity Leave: 3 Ways to Feel Less Overwhelmed
Takeaway: Returning to work after maternity leave can bring up so many emotions and practical challenges. In this article, I explain some of the reasons moms feel overwhelmed and give tips on how to prepare for going back to work after maternity leave.
Returning to Work after Maternity Leave
Returning to work after maternity leave can be a major source of stress for new moms. You might be dreading your return to work, frantically googling “how to extend maternity leave” and feeling like a clock is ticking on this precious time with your baby. Maybe you're feeling depressed about going back to work after maternity leave. Or maybe you're feeling excited about being a working mom and reconnecting with your colleagues, getting dressed and out of the house, and getting to dust off those professional skills and engage in work that is meaningful to you. You might feel nervous about leaving your little one in someone else's care, worried about your milk supply, or confused about what balancing working and motherhood looks like in your life.
Whatever your situation is, there can be a lot of conflicting feelings and uncertainty about returning to work as a new mom and that can feel overwhelming.
Reasons you're feeling overwhelmed about returning to work after leave
Conflicting emotions
Many areas of motherhood are filled with ambivalence (having mixed feelings), and returning to work as a new mom is one of them. This is completely normal for new parents to feel this way.
Moms returning to work often experience conflicting emotions - like feeling sad to leave your baby while also feeling relieved to have more freedom, feeling worried or guilty having someone else care for your baby while also feeling excited to be taking on stimulating projects at work or feeling sad to not have as much time to spend with your baby while also feeling happy about getting to have adult conversations with colleagues in person. These mixed feelings can make you feel like there's a tug-of-war going on in your head and your heart when you're thinking about your return to work.
Practical changes
Going back to work after parental leave means adjusting to new schedules, arranging for childcare, and making plans for feeding your baby. It can feel like a lot to prepare for all these adjustments, both practically and emotionally. This is a huge transition in both your personal and professional life. The postpartum period has unique challenges - from the steep learning curve of figuring out feeding your baby to the unpredictability of infant sleep (and the impact of the resulting sleep deprivation!) Your energy levels, time management, and support network change, impacting your ability to check off practical things like cooking, cleaning, and errands. Asking for support and leaning on trusted others like close friends or family members not only supports you, but your growing family as well.
New identity and role as a mom
You left for maternity leave anticipating the arrival of your baby and knowing life was about to change. And whoa, it really changed. And you have really changed! You're coming back to work from maternity leave with an entirely new role and a whole new aspect of your identity - you're a mom now. Bringing your new identity as a mom with you back to work after leave means bringing along your new values and priorities as well.
Figuring out your new identity and role as a mom can be disorienting! It's a complex process, and along with these shifts can come an increased risk for postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, or other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.
New moms need and deserve support not only in the first few weeks, but in an ongoing way. Therapy for moms can be a good place to start making sense of your experience as a new parent.
How to prepare to return to work after maternity leave
Allow yourself to feel your feelings
All the feelings you are having about returning to work after leave are okay. Tuning in to your emotional experience and feeling your feelings can help you learn to see your emotions as sources of information. This can sound like “Oh, I'm feeling sad leaving my new baby today because I value spending time with him” (and to feel guilt and separation anxiety is so normal!), or “I notice I'm feeling apprehensive about taking the lead on this project, I might need some time to come back in touch with my confidence at work”. That makes sense!
This kind of acknowledgment and acceptance makes it possible to show up in an authentic, open way and make choices based on your values instead of reacting with little awareness of how you're really feeling.
Practice week
Many women returning to work postpartum have found that a practice week or two can make the transition easier. A practice week is a time to use as a kind of "dry-run" or rehearsal of the practical aspects of returning to work before you actually have to clock in with your employer.
Practice your new routine and schedule with your partner and your new baby. This might include getting to know your childcare provider and routines by practicing drop offs or scheduling out your commute time. Leave plenty of cushion and give yourself enough time for the unexpected. If you're not ready to leave your new baby for a few hours yet, that's okay! Talk through the new schedule with your partner or other family members and visualize what the new routine will look like.
If you're breastfeeding and will be expressing milk at work, take a trial run at pumping. The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) requires employers to provide reasonable break time for an employee to express breast milk for their nursing child for one year after the child's birth each time such employee has need to express the milk. Employees are entitled to a place to pump at work, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public. Make sure you'll have enough break time and access to a private space to pump at work.
Waking up and getting dressed with your work schedule in mind, finding out how long your commute will be, familiarizing yourself with childcare pick-up/drop off, and trying out your pump can take away some of the uncertainty of returning to work. Open communication with your childcare provider and knowing your rights for pumping at work can lessen some anxiety as well.
Seek Any Accommodations That You Might Need
The Pregnant Workers Fairness Act (PWFA) requires covered employers to provide “reasonable accommodations” to a worker’s known limitations related to pregnancy, childbirth or related medical conditions, unless the accommodation will cause the employer an “undue hardship.” The protections of the PWFA also apply to postpartum and pumping workers.
Reasonable accommodations when returning to work postpartum could look like flexible work arrangements or a phased return to gradually increase your amount of hours and days in office. Other accommodations include additional, longer, or more flexible breaks to take care of your physical needs, changing your work schedule to be shorter hours, part-time, or a later start time at your job for a few weeks.
These are just examples - the conversation about accommodations is an ongoing one with your employer. You may need different accommodations at different times after giving birth.
Remind yourself of your values
Everyone's situation is unique - both the reasons you are returning to work after maternity leave and how you feel about it. Whatever is true for you and your situation, aligning this decision with your values can have a tremendous impact on how you feel returning to work. You might value personal development and ambition, which you find in meaningful and challenging work. Your job might align with your values of security, stability, and preparedness because it provides you with a paycheck. Whatever your unique situation as a working parent, when you are struggling with all the emotions and practical changes that come with work returning and being a working parent, reconnecting with your values can help remind yourself of your “why”.
Support for New Parents
Postpartum Mental Health Support
The task of returning to work after maternity leave can feel overwhelming, especially without adequate support or when you're dealing with postpartum depression or other mental health challenges. I understand and I can help.
With all the tasks of motherhood and the changes of returning to work on the horizon, therapy might feel like just another thing to add to your to-do list. However, support during this transition can help calm all the noise and chaos. Therapy could be the key to unlocking peace, confidence, and strength to help you thrive as a working mom.
I provide both in-person and online therapy for moms in California. If you’re looking for support through postpartum depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns after giving birth, schedule a consultation today. Find out more HERE.
Maternity Leave Planning and Return to Work Consultation
Make your transition smoother with Out of Office, maternity leave planning services for moms growing their career and their family.
Out of Office is a maternity leave planning service designed for high-achieving women just like you who want to experience the joy of missing out. I’ve created this service to help you:
✽ Feel fully prepared for the transition onto leave.
✽ Minimize disruptions to your career.
✽ Focus on what truly matters—your baby and your well-being.
But Out of Office isn’t just about planning your leave. It’s about providing you with peace of mind, emotional support, and a clear roadmap for your transition into motherhood and back into your career. Having a plan in place can save you from last-minute stress, missed opportunities, and that icky FOMO feeling.
As a RETAIN Certified Parental Leave Coach (a certification developed by the Center for Parental Leave Leadership), I’ve been trained in an evidence-based coaching model that supports working parents before, during, and after their leave. The RETAIN model ensures that you feel engaged, supported, and fully prepared for every phase of your transition.
